Tuesday, 5 November 2013

In search for something more to be.

                       Take a listen to this? I'm currently obsessed with ├ôlafur Arnalds!

Hi there, sooooo I have kind of neglected my blog recently...hah understatement of the year my last post was in's now November...oops :D
The usual excuse of being busy over summer, getting ready for uni, starting uni, being busy at uni oh and I'm currently ill with Tonsillitis, boooo... but also in all honesty I haven't had much inspiration to sit down and blog.
Uni so far has been a massive, life changing experience and I haven't really felt like I have had a moment to breath.
It's changed the way I think about various aspects of my life, made me realise what I value and who/what I spend my time caring about.

 I'm not going to lie to you, the first few weeks here were HARD. The first few days of freshers are a blur, you spend your time desperately running around trying to find these life long friends you are told by everyone you will meet when in reality most of the people you speak to in freshers week end up fading away into the masses of people around you. I'm currently into week 8 and most of the people I met in freshers week, I haven't seen since.
It was tough coming from such a steady group of friends from back home that hasn't really changed for most of my life to being thrown into a new place without this definite and constant group for the first few weeks. Looking back I realise it was unrealistic of me to think I would meet these people on the first day but at the time it overwhelming.

 This all made the dreaded home sickness come in thick and fast. I was surrounding myself with these people I didn't really know anything about just to not be alone, yet I felt more alone than I ever had.
All I wanted more than anything in the world was a hug from my Mum.
The cheesy saying: distance makes the heart grow fonder is certainly the case for me when it came to Uni.
I have always had a close relationship with my family but there's something different about being so far away from them and still knowing they are there for you. The Uni I got to is pretty far from home so I can't just pop on a quick train and visit home for the day. It takes a good 31/2 to 4 hours and a return journey costs on average £50 (with a railcard).
Being able to FaceTime my Mum, Step-Dad and Brother. My grandparents, Aunties, Uncles and Cousins helped so much to show me that it would all get better, that people were there for me, and whatever decision I made they were behind me 100%.
From the little experience I have from uni so far, one main thing it has taught me is how precious the love and support is from family, the unconditional love.

 After things got going I started to see the same people more regularly and found people who I really got on with and made me feel comfortable, no trying to fit in, just being relaxed and being me. It's so strange how these friendships come about, a chance meet leading into these connections. One of my main friends at Uni, Phoebe, and I's friendships started upon a chance meet in an introductory lecture in our first week. We started chatting and she asked for me to note down my name so she could add me of Facebook. She added me and we didn't really speak or see each other again for that first week but at the end of the week I had a weird urge to message her to see if she had any plans for the night. We met up and went to dinner with a few of her flat mates and have been friends ever since!
I wonder how different things may have been if I hadn't had the random urge to message her, had she said no or had I still been desperately trying to find my way somewhere else.

 Another random decision I made that has completely changed my uni experience for the better was joining the Women's Rugby. I was walking around the freshers fair with no intention to join any other society but the Law one. I walked past the Women's Rugby table, quickly glancing at it and remembering how fun the tag rugby days were back in school but had no intention of going over when a member at the table, I believe it was Peggy (a 3rd year) asked if I wanted to join.
Other societies had done the same but I had simply brushed them off with a no thanks and moved on but for some reason I felt myself gravitating towards them. I didn't debate it in my head, I just chatted to them, put my name down, I felt good.
I went to the taster session and I just knew I needed to keep going, I had this good feeling about it all, I still do. I've met some amazing people through it, one of my closest friends at the moment I met there. I feel its helping me grow as a person, mentally as well as physically and it is one of the best decisions I have made so far at uni.
I've figured out a lot, even just from being here for 8 weeks. That forcing yourself onto people who don't put the effort back, or feeling you need to change yourself to fit in with them is wasting energy and won't make you feel like you belong.
Things do fall into place and although I still have so much more to experience, what I have had the chance to do so far has been amazing!

I am going to try to keep blogging about my experiences, feeling and just everything and anything as I feel it's something good to look back on later down the line.
The things I blog about and the direction of my blog may be changing, but that's because my life has changed and is changing.
However... I may indulge in an occasional haul here or there... I may be a student but what did you all think the student overdraft was for? ;)

Thanks for reading :)